{"id":980,"date":"2021-11-02T12:32:41","date_gmt":"2021-11-02T04:32:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.drihk.com\/?p=980"},"modified":"2022-01-10T14:14:35","modified_gmt":"2022-01-10T06:14:35","slug":"your-mama-aint-your-coach","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.oldsite.drihk.com\/zh\/your-mama-aint-your-coach\/","title":{"rendered":"Your mama ain\u2019t your coach!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I expect that&nbsp;<strong>this article may stimulate a lot of debate, or maybe even strife<\/strong>.&nbsp; That\u2019s okay.&nbsp; I\u2019m here to point out a fact that not many people will be willing to accept or embrace.&nbsp; Yet, I am inclined to say it because if it fuels any self-examination then I have done my job as a coach.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When we are asked as a child, \u201cWho looks out for you the most?\u201d&nbsp; The intuitive answer would usually be, \u201cMy mom.\u201d&nbsp; Yet why is it then, if mom was our ultimate guiding light as a child, she may no longer be fit to be our coach as an adult?&nbsp; The truth is, she helped shape us (for better or for worse), and so many of the programs running in our minds are attributed back to mom.&nbsp; And&nbsp;<strong>mom<\/strong>, being human,&nbsp;<strong>has her own faults, her own fears, her own ambitions<\/strong>&nbsp;when it comes to how she communicates with us.&nbsp; If you grew up in the Asian tradition, you will undoubtedly know that mom does and says things to bring out what she believes is the most appropriate behavior.&nbsp; Yet,&nbsp;<strong>that doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s what\u2019s best for our growth<\/strong>.&nbsp; For example, when mom asks you to greet people during Chinese New Year by saying \u201cGong Xi Fa Cai\u201d, she likely feels pride when others sing praises about how obedient you are.&nbsp; Of course, there will always be some well-meaning element of helping you with your social skills, but at a young age, obedience is viewed as more important in the traditional Chinese home than being sociable.&nbsp; Her judgment of what you\u2019re learning may be partially clouded by the fact that she is your mom and how you may affect how she may appear in social settings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Teachers, Coaches, and Masters, in sports, religion or in other areas of life all serve a different purpose.&nbsp; They are there to push you.&nbsp; Their purpose is not to make you love them (whereas mom would always want you to love her).&nbsp;&nbsp;<strong>Teachers, Coaches, and Masters are there to ensure you excel in your given field, industry, art or discipline<\/strong>.&nbsp; They are the ones who understand that it could be your career, relationship or reputation on the line.&nbsp; They are the ones who are meant to&nbsp;<strong>provide you with objective and constructive criticism<\/strong>.&nbsp; Mom, on the other hand, will always only see your positive traits and love you regardless of your success or failure.&nbsp; Biased much?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You see\u2026Your mama ain\u2019t your coach!\u00a0 A Teacher, A Coach, A Master is someone who has aced their game.\u00a0 Someone who is so good at what they do (or has been) that they can spot your weaknesses, your mistakes, and give you the right advice to correct it.\u00a0 That doesn\u2019t mean that your mom is purposely giving you the wrong career advice.\u00a0 She\u2019s coming from a well-meaning place.\u00a0 However, just as you wouldn\u2019t learn how to cook from a mechanic, you wouldn\u2019t learn how to fix cars from an astronomer, and you wouldn\u2019t learn how to play golf from someone who has barely ever held a golf club, your mom probably isn\u2019t going to be the best-suited coach for an adult in this era.\u00a0 Just as their parents became outdated over time, so have many of our own parents.\u00a0 It\u2019s the natural evolution of things. \u00a0At the end of the day,\u00a0<strong>if you\u2019re serious about growth, then you will need to be prepared to cut some of those apron strings and invest in some professional help<\/strong>.\u00a0 Growth doesn\u2019t stop when we leave school, it starts when we leave school.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Judy Wong<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Writer, Speaker and Lifestyle Coach<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I expect that&nbsp;this article may stimulate a lot of debate, or maybe even strife.&nbsp; That\u2019s okay.&nbsp; I\u2019m here to point out a fact that not many people will be willing to accept or embrace.&nbsp; Yet, I am inclined to say it because if it fuels any self-examination then I have done my job as a&#8230;<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":981,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-980","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog-post"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v18.4.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Your mama ain\u2019t your coach! - Destiny Research Institute (DRI) Hong Kong | The Legacy Blueprint\u2122<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"zh_HK\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Your mama ain\u2019t your coach! - Destiny Research Institute (DRI) Hong Kong | The Legacy Blueprint\u2122\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I expect that&nbsp;this article may stimulate a lot of debate, or maybe even strife.&nbsp; 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